To the uninitiated, foosball (no typo, here) might seem to lack, well, suspense. But a new spot from MTV might change the perception that only MIT nerds can handle the complicated physics inherent in this majestic game. Well, maybe. "Foosball" suggests that, "If MTV were a foosball player, he would dominate the tour unmercifully" with "a display of brutal offensive violations." He would spank his competition with geometrically calculated moves like the "jahlalabad" (which involves banking the ball off your opponent's dome) and the crowdpleasing closer, the "Sodomizer", which needs no explanation.

Very rarely appears a campaign that successfully marries the butt clench with classic verbiage like "lay back in the cud" and inspired coinage like "nailscapes".

"Salesman" opens as a not-so-together salesman pulls up to a dreary office and tumbles out of his out-of-date big American car. Alec Baldwin's whimsical narration follows him in as we meet his prospective client: "If MTV were the sales rep for an industrial supplies company he would easily garner the highest sales in the tri-state area even though it was his first year doing it and he didn't have the best accounts yet."

"If MTV were a nail artist, she would be the most skilled nail artist in the city." In a third spot, "Nail Artist", Cookie Hanson is that woman, thrice trained in designer nail techniques with microscopic painting skills that required the grinding of a specially manufactured "ocular" to match her skills.

Great casting and solid directing, which captures perfectly individual gestures, makes all the difference with these well-executed odes which walk us a few yards in the shoes of the common man and woman. It's all faces and reactions, carried by the narration, but the shotmaking blends them well and keeps everything nicely in sync.

Copywritten Randy Krallman of HSI, and co-directed by Krallman and Aaron Stoller of MTV, with distinct shades of Wes Anderson, the "If MTV were a..." series of three spots might not make you give notice and head for the glorious life of a foosball champion, industrial salesman or nail "artist", but it might laugh you into a case of anal seepage. View the spots:

www.hsiproductions.com
www.mtv.com