Christian Simmons is pondering an existential quandary. "Can you even have a trademark when no one knows who you are?" he asks, after mulling over his directorial style (he settles on absurdist). The answer may be found on the wind of one hand clapping, but the question of the Connecticut native's lack of notoriety can easily be solved. A grad of Savannah's College of Art and Design, Simmons helped create SCADshorts, a monthly showcase of the school's talents, alongside prodco The Dandy Dwarves. His work runs the gamut from eerily tense ("Pencil Face") to the fun that can only be had when incongruous elements collide: high-voltage paint and exercise in "Color Me Beautiful" and Southern Belle dolls equipped with RC engines in "Turbo Heather."

If you could have a dinner party with any three people, who would they be and what anecdote would you tell that would completely blow their minds?
Jesus, Gene Wilder and Jack Hanna, friend of the animals. Gene and I could really drill Jesus about being the Son of God, and Jack Hanna would provide the cuddly creatures around the table as icebreakers and to fill the gaps between awkward conversations. I'd regale them with the story of how I lied my way to the final rounds of Wheel of Fortune casting, by identifying myself as the National Etch-a-Sketch Champion for 1998.

Who is the most overrated artist at the moment?
Hanna Montana! That demon stares out at me from every shelf of almost every store I visit, plus her streaked plastic hair and dentures really frighten me.

Aside from 'director', what role on a film set would best suit you?
The most appropriate alternate title to give me, due to the amount of (loving) suffering I put my actors through, would be Grief Counselor. I have a tendency to put my actors into highly awkward situations, and to counter that I have to be entirely emotionally invested in them. Once we've wrapped shooting, I often feel we've been through serious trust-training exercises at some summer camp for dysfunctional families.

Who is the most underrated artist?
Photographer/director Charlie White. His incorporation of creature design with intimate human emotion is something I've always felt a kinship with and is an aesthetic I naturally gravitate to as well.

The Dandy Dwarves http://www.thedandydwarves.com