Los Angeles 4/10
There are things in this world that just don't seem right, but it's inevitable that they should happen: the early demise of Arrested Development, a full-length film version of Sex and the City and bustling Los Angeles scoring anywhere under a five on board flow. Yet, here we are.

"I think an honest read on your board flow monitor is a four," assessed one EP. "In the name of journalistic integrity, you have to put it there." So, in the name of all things good and true in journalism, we sought confirmation from multiple sources, and got it. "It's pretty dead out there," said one. "It's been sleepy," yawned another. "Sleepy, sleepy, sleepy." And a third bemoaned, "Creatively, it's very weak." Like others, this source had seen an influx of car scripts. "It's primarily been weak this year and it's getting weaker."

Most EPs chalked it up to a worse than usual second-quarter slump, and you can pick any one of the prime suspects to explain it - weak dollar, fallout from the writer's strike, recession fears sparked by the housing crisis, etc. But, as it has in the past, most EPs believe things will pick up after Cannes.

"When we have this conversation two months from now, I think it'll be a seven or eight," surmised the EP. "If it's not than we're all in lots of trouble."

Toronto 6/10
Thanks to the wintry weather that Torontonians have been putting up with well into May, Canada was one step closer to fulfilling its stereotype of being a perpetually cold country with snowshoed inhabitants. OK, it wasn't that dire, but the weather had an impact on board flow.

"Usually, we would be shooting more, but we're about three weeks behind the norm because of the weather," said one EP. "We can lie to the foreign clients, but for the locals it's too early to shoot here."

Still, a deluge of summer work is on the horizon and while some EPs can hear it surging, it hasn't yet hit for others. "It's crazy. It's good. It's excellent. It's exciting!" enthused one EP. Another had a more tempered response. "It's not bad, just kind of medium."

Hoping to tip the scales, one EP, after asking about what the "liars" were saying, quipped: "I turn down about 33 scripts a day." Nice try.

A "hodge-podge mix" of scripts made the rounds. Talk of budgets didn't offer any enthusiastic responses, but one EP, when asked about creative, seemed to have been struck by the hand of Brighid, Celtic goddess of poetry. "There are a few bright lights in an otherwise vast sea of darkness," mused the exec. Barely able to choke back the tears, we asked for elaboration. "I'm just online, and I read that on a site," came the crushing reply.

New York 6/10
Despite it being one of the busier stops on this month's Board Flow Express, New York is full of anxiety, tentativeness and speculation. Business has been steady and some report a marked improvement in creative, but the economic "downturn" is still the main topic of discussion. Two trends are emerging: clients are having commitment issues with budgets and the bidding process has become less exclusive. Or, as one exec puts it, "Instead of two or three directors, the job goes out to five or six - you have A-level guys competing with guys who are barely a D-."

"They are really looking for competitive bids," said another. "You have to be twice as thorough than you were before and really focus in on which jobs are the right fit for a particular director."

Most blamed this "buyer's market" on clients unsure of how much to pony up. Then, when the budget doesn't materialize, EPs have to politely explain to the agency why their cack creative is mere toilet paper to a superstar director. "It really is getting ridiculous," said one. "Mediocre boards with no money and they're looking for [insert star director's name here]? It doesn't make sense."

On the bright side, bigger companies booking big directors on jobs with an interactive element are getting eager younger directors to handle the web content. The product mix this month: PSAs with no money, PSAs with money, cars, hygiene, electronics and office supplies are all making the rounds.

London 6/10
"Choosy" was the buzz word du jour in London last month, with the lines, "Our directors are quite choosy" or "We're being particularly choosy", popular among the British prodco set. "Things have slowed down," noted one exec. "But I don't know if that's because we've passed on everything."

By the beginning of June, the city was shaking off spring's sleepy start, with boards for cameras, mobile phones, government PSAs, finance, beer and electronics starting to flow across desks. And despite the ho-hum script situation, a few shops had busy shooting schedules and no one was overtly complaining about the budget situation, weakly deeming it "reasonable". However the quality of the creative caused a few voices to crack.

"There are bits of good stuff," said an exec. "There's quite a lot of the usual cinematic stuff and bits of comedy here and there."

"I'm not wildly excited," added another, dryly. "It's not been stellar, it's not been rubbish. We're not overrun."

And so London's spot producers soldier on, but with an apathetic malaise standing in marked contrast to the 2008 award season buzz and bustle.