A TV spot for French Connection: UK (AKA FCUK) from TBWA/London was deemed too sexually suggestive for British television by the UK's Broadcast Advertising Clearance Centre (BACC).

The ad features a copulating couple sweetening their relations with sensual missives based on acronyms for FCUK. Clearly, the BACC did not realize the anger they would unleash from the ad's creative director, Trevor Beattie. Beattie, who conceived the spot with Bil Bungay, wrote a rather scathing diatribe entitled "Sense & Censorship: FCUK the Movie," which is reprinted here:

"There is a world, in a far-flung corner of our galaxy, where women have no nipples and motor cars, though legally capable of 70 mph never trundle a smidgen over thirty. A world where alcohol never makes people drunk and is only ever consumed in moderation by responsible adults who appear to be at least 25 years old.

"A happy clappy, cuddly wuddly world where no one ever smokes, swears, fights, defecates, belches, farts or dies. Where nothing is better than anything else but might, on occasion and where the principles of fair competition are upheld, be deemed to be almost as good...Probably.

"A weasel-worded world where coffee is never more than rich and smooth yet never less than harsh and bitter. Where hair is always healthy-looking and no one ever refers to quilted bathroom tissue as bogroll. A perfectly perfumed, hermetically-sealed utopia where busy people don't have time for pain. But where your home is at risk if you do not keep up repayments on a mortgage or other loan secured on it.

"Kingston-upon-Thames? Nope. Advertising-upon-television. The truth is out there alright. But we're rarely given clearances to tell it. In full, anyway.

"That's why we end up telling it like it isn't. We're told to.

"Recently, FCUK and TBWA discovered just how difficult it can be to enter this strange West World.

"Our TV script, Kinky Bugger was rejected (I'm not supposed to use the word BANNED...) by the BACC. It could not be shown on national television even after the much-vaunted 9 o'clock watershed, as it contained "an unacceptable level of sexual innuendo." A spokesperson was said to be 'shocked and surprised' that we 'even had the gall to send the script in.' That'll be NO, then.

"Anyway. We went ahead and commissioned Mr. Jonas Akerlund to shoot the script.

"We then submitted the finished film to the CAA for approval to run in cinemas (as a saucy little prelude to the murder, pillage, cannibalism and mediocrity which routinely passes for family entertainment these days). They offered us an 18 certificate. Which was of no use, as the vast majority of movies are now rated 15 (murders and all). The CAA however, at least offered us a few helpful tips.

"And, after we replaced the word 'copulation' with the word 'collision' and added a 'safe sex message,' the Man From The Ministry, he say YES. Kinky Bugger was given a 15 certificate. It will run alongside: Hannibal (cannibalism, murder), Shadow of the Vampire (bloodlust), and Almost Famous (sex, drugs 'n' rock + roll).

"Saucier samples of the original Kinky Bugger film may be sampled @ fcukinkybugger.com. You have been warned."

The Kinky Bugger site alluded to above was designed by Deepend. Akerlund shot the ad through Jane Fuller Associates, London.

Webfiles>

FCUK> www.fcukinkybugger.com

TBWA/Europe> www.tbwa-europe.com

Broadcast Advertising Clearance Centre> www.bacc.org.uk

Deepend> www.deepend.com